Hello back there! This is me, in the future. It's great here. We finally have robots that do things for us, although none of them are very attractive, at least not after the third or fourth date. Dogs and cats developed the power of speech several years ago, and turn out to have very little interesting to say beyond requests for food and, on the part of cats, expressions of condescension.

　　One thing that has not changed in the 50 years since you guys were merging and purging all over the place is our reliance on media. Today we have 484,567,543 channels of great programming, which correspond exactly to the population of the U.S. It's really fabulous. Each of us has his or her own mix that completely serves our interests and virtual habits. I say virtual habits because none of us have any real habits to speak of, good or bad. They were outlawed in 2025, and most of us agree that we're happier without any.

　　Our programming mixtures reach us through a variety of pipelines all owned by one of four Great Big Media Companies. These are all exactly alike in their collection of assets, each of them owning broadcast, narrowcast, die-cast, retrocast and cybercast, broadband, narrowband, audio, video, satellite and an upload-and-download phalanx of option-driven interfaces. Each of our Great Big Media Companies has thousands of brands that make us feel all warm and toasty and provide an emotional connection to a past that nobody can actually remember. We love our GBMCs and buy their stocks all the time.

　　And they're getting bigger. Not long ago, the largest GBMC declared itself to be a nation, established a virtual army and invaded Nova Scotia. Right now, it's fighting the Canadians, who are holding out for preferred stock in the new entity before they capitulate.

　　So things have changed a lot, except maybe for one thing. As I'm dictating this into the cyber-neural-net, I am sitting on a soft object with a rather high back, which is necessary as, like all other human beings now, I have no real bone structure. That's right, it's my beloved couch! I sit on my couch all day long. I do business from my couch, since everything is now conducted online. I am served my meals on my couch. My family members catch up with one another's virtual day while sitting on our couch. The only time we leave our couch is when we are conveyed upstairs to bed, which is just another couch. So from our couch to yours, hello! That's your future! See you there!

1.What is implied in the first paragraph?
　　[A] The future life will be much greater than the present life.
　　[B] Robots will become as smart as human beings in the future life.
　　[C] What will be described in the passage is quite absurd.
　　[D] Cats and dogs will surely develop the power of speech in the future.

2.The author uses the phrase “couch potato” to mean those who ________.
　　[A] spends a lot of time sitting at home watching television, surfing internet, reading etc.
　　[B] prefer to have potatoes as meals while sitting on the couch
　　[C] prefer to sleep on couch rather than on bed
　　[D] indulge themselves only in sleeping and eating

3.The author’s attitude towards the four Great Big Media Companies is probably one of ______.
　　[A] strong disapproval
　　[B] mild satire
　　[C] reserved consent
　　[D] enthusiastic support

4.In contrast to the great changes in the virtual future, one thing that has not changed is ______.
　　[A] our way of life
　　[B] the social status of pets like dogs and cats
　　[C] our habits and memories of the past
　　[D] our dependence on television, computer, radios, newspapers, etc.

5.The text intends to express the idea that ______.
　　[A] people will live a happier life in the future
　　[B] people will do business at home in the future
　　[C] human beings tend to degenerate with increasing immobility
　　[D] people will have more free time to pursue their hobbies

　　答案：CABDC

　　篇章剖析

　　本文以调侃荒诞的笔调，向人们描述了未来过度依赖媒体的可怕场景。从开篇的猫狗能说话到媒体构筑的虚拟世界，从媒体行业的高级发展到人类的低级退化，直到最后一段对人类的可怕描述，全文透着对未来荒唐生活的揶揄。

　　词汇注释

　　condescension: [7kCndi5senFEn] n. 优越感

　　purge: [pE:dV] v. 剥离；去除

　　virtual: [5vE:tjuEl] adj. 虚拟的；不真实的

　　toasty: [5tEusti] adj. 舒适的

　　capitulate: [kE5pitjuleit] v. 投降

　　难句突破 1.Each of our Great Big Media Companies has thousands of brands that make us feel all warm and toasty and provide an emotional connection to a past that nobody can actually remember.

　　主体句式： Each…has thousands of breands…

　　结构分析：这一长句中有两个定语从句。一个是由that引导的修饰brands，从句的谓语是make和provide，一个是由that引导的修饰past，从句的谓语是remember。

　　句子译文：四大媒体巨头中的每一家都有几千个让我们感到温暖舒适的名牌节目。这些节目使我们感情上和忘得一干二净的过去保持联系。

　　题目分析

　　1．答案是C，属推理判断题。从作者的调侃的口气以及描写的内容可以读出这将是一篇荒诞文章。

　　2．答案是A，属猜测词义题。指那些长时间卧在沙发里看电视、上网或阅读的人。

　　3．答案是B，属推理判断题。作者在调侃揶揄未来那种所谓的高级生活，对主宰未来生活的媒体业也是同样的态度。

　　4．答案是D，属事实细节题。从第二段第一句话可以看出。

　　5．答案是C，属推理判断题。最后一段虚构了人类的退化---几乎成了软体动物。

　　参考译文

　　住在过去的人们，你们好！这就是我，正生活在未来。这儿真的很棒！机器人可以帮我们做事，虽然它们长得不那么好看，至少打三、四次交道后更觉它们难看。猫呀狗呀早在几年前就会说话，不过除了开口要吃的，它们对说话几乎没什么兴趣。当然，对猫而言，开口说话还能表明它比别的物种优越。

　　50年后，有一件事情没变，那就是我们对媒体的依赖。这一点自从你们在此地生活以来就没变。现在我们有484，567，543个播放各种各样节目的频道，和美国的人口一样多。这可太好了。每个人都有自己喜欢的频道。这些频道能满足他们的兴趣爱好及虚拟的习惯。我说虚拟的习惯，是因为没有哪个人有真正的说得出来的习惯，不管是好习惯还是坏习惯。到2025年，习惯就是非法的。大多数人会承认没有习惯反倒更幸福。

　　各种各样的电视节目会通过各种管线传输给我们。这些管线被四大媒体巨头中的某一个所拥有。他们旗下的资产十分相似。每个巨头都拥有广播、窄播、印刷广播、怀旧广播以及网络广播、宽波段、窄波段、视听、视频、卫星、随意选择的界面上随意上传或下载的强大系统。四大媒体巨头中的每一家都有几千个让我们感到温暖舒适的名牌节目。这些节目使我们感情上和忘得一干二净的过去保持联系。我们爱死了四大媒体巨头，一直买他们的股票。

　　他们的事业也蒸蒸日上。前不久，最大的一家媒体巨头宣布自己是一个独立王国，建立了自己的虚拟军队并入侵新斯科细亚省。目前它正同加拿大人作战，因为后者坚持在这个新领域购买喜欢的股票并拒绝投降。

　　看来变化真是很大。或许只有一件事没变。当我把这篇文章口述到神经网络时，我正坐在有高高椅背的软座上。高椅背是很有必要的。因为我现在像其他人一样，骨骼不发挥什么作用了。这就对了，这就是我喜欢的大沙发！我每天都坐在沙发上。我在沙发上做生意因为任何事情都可以在网上完成。有人给我端来饭菜，我就在沙发上进餐。我的家人坐在沙发上就能知道每个人的一天怎么过的。我们唯一离开沙发的时候是上楼睡觉时。当然，床和沙发也没什么两样。我在沙发上向沙发上的你问好！这就是你的未来！那儿见！